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| Holiday of Love |
December , 2000 Bet Books ISBN: 1-58314-187-1 |
 With her career as an artist finally taking off, Collette Jenkins is happier than ever--until just weeks before the holidays when a letter that's been lost in the mail arrives. She's stunned to learn that the only family she ever knew is not her family at all. She heads back to Miami for answers, and meets her first love, Dexter Harris. Now, he wants to help her find her true family in time for Kwanzaa. But they soon realize someone doesn't want her to learn the truth and will stop at nothing to keep a secret buried . . . |
Prologue
Talking to him had been a waste of time.
And now, as much as it hurt, she knew what she had to do.
Leaning against the solid double doors, she ran her sleeve across her eyes, brushing away her tears. Tears of frustration, sadness and disappointment. She wished it didn't have to be this way. She'd tried everything to get him to listen to her, to hear her out, but he hadn't. Instead, he'd told her to leave, that this wasn't the time. Call him tomorrow, he'd said. But she wasn't stupid. For the past week, she'd tried to talk to him, ever since the baby was born, but every time he'd pushed her away. Until tonight, she'd given him the benefit of the doubt, believing that he was simply too busy to talk, but now she could no longer deny the truth.
Pain gripped her heart and she clutched a hand to her chest. How could he do this to her? He wasn't the same man she'd fallen in love with. Before, he'd been sweet and caring and had always listened to her-before she'd gotten pregnant. She'd known that going to bed with him was wrong-he was married-but she'd gotten caught up in the emotions. Both of them had. After the first time they'd made love, he'd told her how much he cared for her, how completely happy she made him. He'd also confessed that he didn't love his wife anymore.
So she had expected him to stand by her when she was pregnant. He'd been stunned at first, like she had been. Then scared, but she couldn't blame him. Given his position, people would be quick to judge him. They wouldn't understand why he'd had an affair. And no doubt, they would call her a tramp. That's why she understood when he'd told her to keep a low profile. No one could know about their relationship, he'd told her. Nor about her pregnancy. Not until the baby was born. She figured he was working on ending his marriage so it wouldn't look so bad to everyone when the truth came out, but months later, he and his wife were still together.
Still seemingly happy to everyone at church.
While she was alone.
She no longer believed that he was going to leave his wife. Because despite everything he'd said, despite all his promises, now that the baby was born, he was ignoring her.
He wasn't going to take responsibility for his child. He didn't even want to s
ee the baby. That hurt the most. The realization that he not only didn't want her, he didn't want his own daughter. Yes, he was married and she knew this wouldn't be easy for him, but it certainly wasn't easy for her. For nine months, she had carried this baby, and she couldn't raise her alone. It was only fair that he give her some help.
But if he wouldn't . . .
A small whimper escaped her as she looked up at the church's steeple. Behind it, the moon hung like a fluorescent balloon in the sky. A night like this should be for lovers.
Not for what she was about to do.
She glanced down at the baby. Her precious little sleeping baby. God, she wished there was another way, that she had another choice. But she didn't. With her mama dead and gone, and no one else in her life, there was no way she could raise this baby alone.
She was taking a drastic measure right now, but if he was truly the man he said he was, he would have to do the right thing. And when he did, everything would be all right again.
Tears streamed down her face as she lowered her head to look in the baby's buggy. Her daughter looked snug and warm. Peaceful. A soft smile touched her lips even as she cried. She loved this little baby so much. She'd do anything for her.
Including this.
The church social shouldn't last much longer. Someone would find her soon.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I have to do this. But hopefully we won't be apart for long. You'll be safe here." She stroked the baby's face, feeling her perfect, soft skin. She was a little angel. Her little angel. God, how could she leave her here?
Because she had to. There was no other way. "You won't be hungry. I've left two bottles for when he finds you, okay? Your mama's doing this because she wants you to have the very best life." Her voice broke. "Because I love you so very much."
Lord help her, this was too hard. She had to leave. Get away before she changed her mind. If this was wrong, a sin, then she only hoped that God could forgive her.
She raised her head and wiped her tears. Was that a sound she heard? Nervous, she glanced around, but all she saw were the bushes rustling in the wind. Still, she couldn't help the eerie feeling that someone was out here, watching her.
But she didn't see anyone. It was only her. Her and her baby.
She glanced down at her still sleeping baby, then lowered her head to kiss her cheek. "See you soon, my angel."
A gust of wind swirled around her and she buried her neck in her jacket. Then she hurried down the steps and toward the back of the church where she would cut through the alley to go home. From the open church windows, she could hear the sounds of laughter inside. She halted, a pang of sadness overwhelming her. She should be inside with the other teenagers, enjoying the social. She should be like them, with her life ahead of her. Not with a baby and no man and no future.
Yes, this was the best thing. If he didn't change his mind and do right by her, at least she knew her baby would have a good home.
That thought should have comforted her, but instead she only felt as if her heart was breaking as she hustled toward the alley.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Through the open window, he watched her go. Watched her hurry along the side of the church toward the alley he knew she used to take a short-cut home.
He felt a moment of panic. Tonight's talk with her had him worried. She seemed desperate tonight, agitated, and he couldn't help wondering what she would do. Would she go to his wife?
Her coming here had been brazen enough, considering someone could have seen them together and wondered what was wrong. Even though she'd kept a low profile during her pregnancy, he was sure some of her friends had known she'd been pregnant. Friends who went to this church. How long would it take them to put two and two together if she kept coming around here to talk to him? Thankfully, he'd been able to convince her to leave before anyone had seen her tonight.
But as he'd watched her walk away, an uneasy feeling had washed over him. Guilt, yes. He felt incredible guilt for getting involved with her. Their relationship had gone too far, and he prayed every night that God could forgive his weakness. But he also felt fear. There was something about the way she'd looked at him that had him scared.
His gut said she was going to do something drastic. Something crazy that would get them both into trouble.
He glanced around the church. Everyone was preoccupied with the social, playing one game or another. Now was the perfect time to head out. He could disappear for a little while and no one would even notice.
Quietly, he headed toward the back of the church. One more glance around told him that no one had seen him move.
Then he opened the back door and escaped into the night, determined to deal with this problem once and for all.
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